Category: Uncategorized

Back to school!

My days in the writing cave for the current novel-in-progress are nearly ended; the last page is in sight, hallelujah, and I still have a week left in the month to contemplate how best to make the reader think the house in my story is the ghost in my story. Ponder that if you will.

But today, before I head back into the labyrinth, I must confess that with all this talk of “going back to school” I am strangely yearning to yes, drop everything, buy some new notebooks, leave my house and most of my belongings and responsibilities, grab my favorite roommate, and head to a campus where you simply live and eat and breathe learning and no one expects you to do anything else.
Is that the ideal existence or what? Forget that at the end of those four years of didactic bliss you will have to start paying for the experience. Let’s not spoil the dream by throwing THAT into the equation. We’re dreaming here. And that is free.
Just imagine it. You take only what you can fit into the backseat of your car. That means only your favorite things. Your favorite jeans. Your favorite PJs. Favorite cup. Favorite books. Favorite photos. You drive to a campus that sent you a letter inviting you to come. You set up residence with your roommate. You place your favorite things around the tiny space that is your only bit of the life you left. And then you begin the new life on your feet. You don’t drive to class. You walk there. Your new, freshly minimal life is a life of travel on your feet. You carry a book bag and nothing else. You sit for hours in rooms whose only purpose is to shelter a gathering of learners. You absorb, ponder, question, dissect, digest; sometimes quietly in the classroom chair, sometimes around a library table with others just like you, sometimes at the campus coffee shop where every table sports an open taptop, piles of books and cups of coffee half-drunk.
You make lifelong friends.
You learn to love again simple foods like peanut butter sandwiches and bananas.
You don’t have to worry about the alternator going out or the water heater or the dishwasher.
You don’t have to clean out a fridge that is taller than you and deeper than the reach of your arm.
You don’t have to walk a dog or clean up its hair on the stairs or scoop its poop in your backyard.
You don’t have to water the grass or prune the rose bushes.
You don’t have to punch a time clock or produce for the Man or make the sale or climb the ladder.
Your existence is simply defined: You listen, learn, read, write, discuss.
Back to school? Yes, sign me up. I have my roommate and I think our parents could drop us off. They might actually want to join us . . . Of course they would.
It would be divine.
Listen. Learn. Read. Write. Discuss.
Bring it on . . .
. . . please

Emerging from the Cave . . .

I am in the dark netherworld of the last 22,000 words of a book due to my editor at the end of the August, which I hope is a grand enough excuse for not feeding my blog child. I will emerge again next Monday, hopefully 10,000 words closer to my finish line. So until then, no long, pithy blog posts. Actually, you won’t even get one next Monday, either. It’s looking more like September.

An no loose button-sewing or tortilla soup making or assistance with cleaning out your closet. Come back after Labor Day and we’ll talk.

In the meantime, do read my friend Lisa McKay’s blog today. She and her husband just moved to Laos and her blog posts are divine.

I have a an understandable awe for novelists who can craft a great story so densely it covers 500 pages or more of text. I find that feat quite remarkable and am pretty sure I lack the the wherewithal to pull it off myself. I am always a little worried when I am writing a book that I will find myself writing “The End” twenty-thousand words before I am supposed to. Brief is good but so is inclusive. Brief and incomplete is bad just as comprehensive but unmanageable is bad. I think something in the middle is what we like best. I admit I get kind of snarky when a good book ends too soon.

Elizabeth Kostova’s The Swan Thieves is a tome of respectable proportions and I must say, despite its heft, I couldn’t wait to crack it open each night before bed, even at the risk of it falling into my face as sleep pursued me and giving me a shiner.

Kostova’s The Historian (which I shamefully admit is still on my TBR stack along with far too many others) was a New York Times bestseller and won her all kinds of acclaim. Her Swan Thieves is a wonderfully told story with a unique plot. I especially liked the story construction since it is similar to what I have employed with the book I am writing at the moment and am half way through: a contemporary story that intersects with a historical thread through a collection of very old letters.

The synopsis from the publisher: “Psychiatrist Andrew Marlowe has a perfectly ordered life—solitary, perhaps, but full of devotion to his profession and the painting hobby he loves. This order is destroyed when renowned painter Robert Oliver attacks a canvas in the National Gallery of Art and becomes his patient. In response, Marlowe finds himself going beyond his own legal and ethical boundaries to understand the secret that torments this genius, a journey that will lead him into the lives of the women closest to Robert Oliver and toward a tragedy at the heart of French Impressionism. Ranging from American museums to the coast of Normandy, from the late nineteenth century to the late twentieth, from young love to last love . . . a story of obsession, the losses of history, and the power of art to preserve human hope.”

Some reviewers, especially ardent fans of Kostova’s debut novel have said it moves too slow and they compare it to The Historian, a thriller with a vampire theme. There are no vampires in The Swan Thieves, hence no one is being chased by the undead, so I would venture the pace is indeed a horse of a different color. I suppose this is one of those times it’s good I haven’t read the debut book first, because I really enjoyed the calm pacing of The Swan Thieves, it is a story about flawed people and their struggle to rise above their flaws – and most of the time there is no ticking clock with a story like that.

I especially liked the idea that a man could fall in love with a woman in a painting. Love at first sight with a huge twist. The object of his affection is a woman born over a hundred years before he was. She is already dead. He is in love with a memory that doesn’t even belong to him. I also liked the twist at the end that I cannot tell you about with out spoiling it. Motivation is everything when you are writing a story that is completely character-driven. And that motivation needs to be intensely satisfying to the reader when you get to the last page.

I recommend The Swan Thieves not for its pacing or its thrill factor but for its exploration into human character and the idea that art is more than just paint on a canvas. It communicates truth. Just like good stories do.

But I think I shall move The Historian up to the top of the stack . . .

No more half foods

With the arrival of the summer months comes the arrival of crispening temps and the lovely putting-away-of-all-sweaters-and-hoodies. Yay! Out come the shorts and tank tops!

And out flops the arm flabs and belly blobs.

Yikes. I used to be one of those girls other girls wanted to sneer at because I could eat whatever I wanted and it never showed. I never sneered back or in any way used my happy metabolism to slight anyone so it seems unfair that I am now forced to be highly aware of what I eat.

Over the past 10 years I have slowly come to terms with the middle-aged body’s blatant refusal to compensate for careless calories of any kind. I now wear 20 pounds I didn’t have 20 years ago. A pound for every year I’ve failed to understand metabolism is a fair-weather friend, there for you only when you are young and lithe.

So I did what I had to do. I stopped enjoying a long list of favorites: No more Little Debbies. No more Lay’s. No more mochas with whipped cream. No more Fig Newtons, which I love, no more toaster strudels, no more Alfredo Anything, no more Twix bars.

And do you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. I stopped eating all that stuff and NOTHING happened. I didn’t shed one jiggling ounce.

This is because, I have now learned, I must also give up everything that comes in a box. And everything made with white flour and everything which contains sugar. And cheese. And bananas, for Pete’s sake, which don’t come in a box, but holy cow, do you how much sweetness is in a banana?

I have finally come to realize that I have to change how I eat, not what I eat. And if I really want to lose the jiggle I am going to have to say no to once-harmless menus like crusty French bread and lasagna made with plain old white pasta noodles.

It doesn’t seem quite fair that the staple of all cultures – bread – has to be the first thing I must scrutinize. If it doesn’t look like its made of wood chips I shouldn’t eat it. Good bye ciabatta. Good bye baguette. Goodbye focaccia. We had become such fast friends, too. I thought you were good for me because I dipped you in olive oil like a good girl.

It’s going to take a re-education of the way I live, hence the book at the top of this blog post. I bought it on Saturday after perusing the whole shelf of books on this topic at my local bookstore, which was right next to the shelves of how to make storybook cupcakes.

What a world, what a world. . .

This morning for breakfast I had an egg and a grapefruit. No toast. No sugar on the grapefruit. So far, so good. If only I could squish the hankering I have for a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. . .

Writing out of my pocket



Monday’s quote for the day: “A word is not the same with one writer as with another. One tears it from his guts. The other pulls it out of his overcoat pocket.” ~Charles Peguy.

If you don’t write, I apologize for not picking a bit of wisdom with more breadth to it. But surely even if you don’t write, you read, and it may be interesting for you to know that the words you read today in that book at your bedside table came out of its writer in one of two ways: kicking & screaming or as effortless as slipping a hand into the brain and drawing them out in one fluid, painless string.

As a writer, I can tell you pocket-days are amazing. Exhilarating. You feel as if you are under a spell, an incantation that nearly feels invasive. The words spill out lava-like and you are aware that you are a mere conduit of something bigger and grander than yourself.

Then there are kicking & screaming gut days, when you know you must write because you are on a deadline and the muse of your craft is either AWOL or present but pouting and the words are yanked out of your brain’s wordmill with gut-wrenching force akin to freeing Excalibur from stone. And then they aren’t that great anyway.

I love pocket days.

I loathe gut days.

The statue at the top of this post is of Clio. She is a very famous muse and this likeness of her sits in a hall of statues at the Vatican – an incongruous place for a fair-weather friend to hang out. She may not be the one and only writing muse, but along the wall with the other muses, she’s the only one with the writing tablets.

When I am having a gut day, I picture Clio smirking. Or maybe squinting. Or maybe sulking.

I am not entirely sure how the writing days get parceled out. Am I subconsciously in charge of that? Does the muse get to choose? Is it mere happenstance and circumstance? Does Providence endow on pocket days and withhold on gut days, and if so, is it because in some infinitely wise plan, the gut days teach me to appreciate the pocket days?

I don’t know.

I do know today doesn’t feel like a pocket day.

And I’ve got 4,000 words to write.

Why I love the O. G.

Every now and then I will get the Opera Ghost itch and I will dig out my soundtrack of The Phantom of the Opera and I will listen to it really loud, in my car, wherever I go, for about a week.

Which will then lead me to dig out the sheet music and to sit down at the piano where I will hack my way through The Music of The Night and its buffet of flats (Count ’em. There’s five. That’s every black key on the piano. . .).

And now that there’s a movie version – which pales in comparison to the stage production but is better than nothing – I will sit down to watch that, too. After all this, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s amazing tunes will swirl about in my head for days afterward and I will spend the following week musing on the power of love to tame the wounded heart of a tortured soul. Which is where I am today. At the musing part.

I lived in the UK in the late ’80s/early ’90s, an hour west of London, for three wonderful years while my husband was active duty in the Air Force. In our final year there, we snagged last minute tickets to see Phantom at Her Majesty’s on the West End. The performance left me undone. I was completely mesmerized by the scope of the production – the music, the vocals, the costumes, the chandelier, and of course, the story.

The Phantom of the Opera is a love story, but not a story of romantic love. Despite the Phantom’s romantic obsession with the beautiful Christine, this is not a story of romance and desire. The Phantom thinks he is in love with Christine, but in truth he is desperate for acceptance. He wants to be wanted. Isn’t this the cry of every soul? Not so much to be the heart of someone’s desire, but to be the desire of someone’s heart?

When the story is at its zenith, the point of no return as it were, when Raoul is seconds from death and the Phantom demands Christine sacrifice her freedom to save him, the most pivotal line is uttered. Christine realizes the Phantom has known only isolation. His whole life. The pitiful creature of darkness has known only suffocating solitude. And within him is this tiny bloom of beauty – his music – and he has never heard anyone tell him how beautiful the bloom is. When Christine walks toward him, asking God for courage, she endeavors to show the Phantom he is not what he thinks he is. He is not alone.

Her kiss and the swell of the music at that moment left me breathless in my seat. It still does – every time I hear it and I picture the isolated man feeling the touch of intimate human love for the first time in his life. Not sex. Love. Sex is often the expression of love, but love is first and foremost the embrace of the other simply for who they are.

It changes him. In a heartbeat.

That is the best story ever. It is the story of all stories. It is the story of us. It is the story God began in us and continues in us. We were meant to be loved. And to give love.

It changes us. Makes us drop the mask. . .

Photo Phriday

Majestic and mysterious butterflies are back at the Wild Animal Park here in my neck of the coast. It is like walking into Rivendell . . .



Indelible Ink

And here we have perhaps the most aptly titled tattoo parlor in all the world.

It’s a real place in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and I captured it here on digital media for lotsa little reasons.

I love the name.

I love the color red.

I especially love red gingham.

I am a mom.

I have a son who came home one evening with a tattoo on his back.

I will take your questions one at a time. . .