I do not eat them, Sam-I-Am

samWhen you’re a little kid and the vast world of culinary delights stretches before you like a wilderness of unexplored territory, it’s understandable that your untrained palate might go a little rebellious from time to time. There were a lot of things I didn’t like when I was little that I absolutely love now, like spinach, eggplant, lima beans. But there are some things that I didn’t like when I was a kid and I still don’t like them. It’s a short list, but I am sharing it here in hopes that you will share yours. I was inspired to post this confession after reading this guest post on Food Riot, where the author shares her shameful, shameful list of things she does not like. (Poor thing. she does not like avocados or cilantro or pickles or eggs or sushi or macarons.)

So here’s my list. At least the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

MAYONNAISE: Ick.  I’ve never liked mayo. Ever. I can eat it mixed up in tuna fish or egg salad but only if the Greek yogurt is all gone. But if it’s peeking out of a bun or from between two slices of bread, I’m a goner. There’s just comething about its look and consistency that makes me dry heave. You know the stuff that pops out of a zit when you squeeze it? That stuff is mayonnaise. Gross.

CIRCUS PEANUTS: The very thought of them sets my teeth on edge. Like the scraping of Styrofoam on metal. Nails on chalkboard. Witch in boiling oil.  Even as I type this my shoulders are shimmying in disgust.

BLACK LICORICE: Igood and p just don’t like black licorice. If nerve gas had a taste, this would be it. That Barbie pink and white coating on a certain kind of candy masquerading as Yum & Yummy  is a despicable lie to cover up the gutter trash taste of the licorice.  The inventor should be thrashed and forced to write letters of apology to children everywhere who thought pink and white should taste like cotton candy.

INSTANT RICE: Either do rice right or serve crushed up Fritos instead, You don’t make rice in a minute. Rice takes 20 minutes. Twenty. The confetti that poses for rice in any kind of rice-in-an-instant product would be better suited for kindergarten craft projects.

CHEESE FOOD: Don;t even get me started on cheese that is not cheese. I have never bought a slab or jar or can of cheese food and I never shall. I  also don’t buy psuedocheese wrapped in individual plastic wrappers.  Real cheese is the stuff of legends and fables and happy times with crackers and fruit and good company. I can’t abide the fake stuff.

So there it is. The stuff  I don’t like.

I shared mine. What are yours?



Author: Susan

This post has 12 Comments

  1. Kathleen Bruner on July 8, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    I agree with you on the licorice! But my main culprits are olives of any kind and bleu cheese. Honestly, I can’t even really tell you what bleu cheese, or bleu cheese dressing tastes like, but I just KNOW I don’t like it! And olives are the most disgusting tasting things I’ve ever had in my mouth! At potluck dinners, I look closely at things like deviled eggs & potato salad to determine if this fiend is included. If I even get a smidgen in my mouth it ruins everything and I have to spit it out. Otherwise, I’m a fairly willing eater. 🙂 Of course, my husband LOVES both of those. But then he can’t even tolerate the smell of brocolli, much less the taste, and I love it! And he can’t stand onions, and I love them! These are things we just agree not to understand about each other.

  2. Susan on July 8, 2013 at 7:40 pm

    Too funny, Kathleen. I used to hate bleu cheese also! It reminded me of stinky socks worn by mean boys. I have acquired a taste for it now, but only crumbled on steak! And I’m afraid I do love olives…

  3. Linda on July 8, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    Enjoyed this post! I can only think of one thing which may not touch my lips & if it would happen to pass the lips, the throat will definitely put a stop to such foolishness! Liver is the villain of all villains! My mother made it & attempted to pass it off as steak…but I would find it out to be an imposter every time! Now, if we are discussing things we like or even love, but, due to health concerns, won’t eat…then my list would be much longer. And, by the way, I happen to like all of the things you mentioned in your list. Question: “What do you think of Spam, O Sam-I-Am?”

  4. Susan on July 8, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    I suppose I need to add liver to the list, too. Even though I am not sure I’ve ever had it. Never was forced to eat it as a kid and why would I voluntarily eat it as an adult? “Calf liver? Oh yes, please! And can I have a yak bladder to go with?” No, No, no, no.

    Here’s the thing with Spam. Ir’s smushed pig parts in a square tin. If I have a hankering for parts of pig, I will stick to the indviduals, like pork chop and ham and bacon and proscuitto…

  5. Mary on July 8, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    I love liver and onions, olives, mayonnaise, broccoli and onions. Even blue cheese if it’s in a good dressing on salad. However, I can not, will not let sweet potatoes cross my lips. Yuck!! I also do not like any sugary sauces on meat (except of course, barbeque).

  6. Susan on July 8, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    Ha! I adore sweet potatoes. I like them sliced and roasted with a little olive oil and Jamaican jerk spice. Yum!

  7. Barbara on July 9, 2013 at 3:11 am

    Fresh tomatoes, but I will eat fried green tomatoes and tomato sauce, ketchup and cooked tomatoes….and avacados….sorry for those who love them….oh and boiled peanuts and greens….I’m a transplant to the south and don’t eat certain things….LOL 🙂

  8. Stacey on July 9, 2013 at 3:56 am

    Fresh tomatoes, salsa, marinara sauce, bruschetta <— Seeing a pattern here? No chunks of tomatoes! I do have a huge garden full of tomatoes that I harvest and make into a smooth, flavorful spaghetti sauce that preserve in quart jars. I simply cannot abide the squishy texture of a tomato chunk. Makes me shudder just thinking about it.

    Oh, and cherries. No cherries, no cherry popsicles, cherry cough drops, cherry pie, dried cherries, red pop, cherry candy, cherry ANYTHING. Blech. Strawberries, please!

  9. Susan on July 9, 2013 at 5:01 am

    I came to love tomatoes after not liking them a at all as a kid. The insides were just too Martian-looking. But I am a huge fan of cherries! Cherry pie is right up there with dark chocolate. Cherry cough drops are blech.

  10. Melissa DePasse on July 9, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    What a fun post! Let’s see. I don’t consider myself a picky eater (but I am gluten intolerant, so I do have to really watch that.) Unlike Susan, I like mayo, don’t cringe at “American Cheese”, have been known to make rice in a minute, and don’t hate black licorice but don’t like it either (But it doesn’t really matter because many times it contains gluten).

    Here are the things I detest:

    Olives. Of any kind: black, green, whatever. As I pass by the olive bar in the my local health foods store, I can’t even look at them. They look like amphibian eggs floating in little ponds. Double Ick.

    Crustaceans. Yes, all types. Lobster, crab, shrimp (which are really just gussied-up crawdads..) I don’t even go to places where seafood is a main item on the menu. I’m getting nauseous just thinking about it. (I learned of this aversion the night of my Senior Prom when my boyfriend took me to a seafood restaurant and laid down about $30 for my meal, which I could not eat.)

    Gristly or fatty meat. Of any kind. If there is a bit of gristle or fat, I spit it out and can’t eat any more of it.

    Sauerkraut. Fermented cabbage? Who came up with that idea?

    Mushrooms. I don’t eat fungus on purpose.

    Anything that looks back at me. Fish, pig, whatever else might be serve with the head attached. I mean really? Why do I need to know this thing I am about to eat once blinked?

    Sashimi (Sushi with raw meat). RAW MEAT BAD. Enough said.

    So, there’s my Top 7 Detestables. (I know that’s not a word, but it should be.)

    Thanks, Susan for giving us all a place to vent!

  11. Susan on July 10, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    I love sauerkraut and olives and mushrooms and certain crustaceans. But no heads attached for me either…

  12. Carla on July 16, 2013 at 1:12 am

    Foods I can’t stand:

    Squash of any kind. Squishy when cooked. Icky. Icky! And raw when trying to look like a cucumber (which I adore)? No!!!!

    Cantaloupe and it’s kissing cousin honeydew – shudder. Although I could eat my weight in watermelon (sort of – that would be a lot of watermelon).

    Agree on the liver – yuck.

    Things I hated as a kid and now tolerate – milk on cereal (only if it’s not some flaky cereal that turns mushy when wet) and white gravy (which isn’t good for you anyway so take it or leave it now).

    Fun post, Sooz!

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